In Memory of Joe...

Thanks to Jodi for emailing me this photo of her and Joe!  It's exactly how I remember him senior year.

I couldn't sleep last night.  I figured after a fun dinner out with another couple, my high school newsletter would do the trick...  Instead, half way through I sat up in bed and gasped!  Every thought went through my mind.  Are you sure this is for real?  Hadn't I searched his name on Facebook when I was checking up on all those past loves (yeah I'll admit it, and I'm sure my husband will too!!)?  How could this be possible?  Joe Terrasi, my hot carpool driver that became my love interest for a brief period in high school was dead!  I spent an entire year dreaming about that guy.  While I have a feeling he was more interested in his BMW than in me, there was just something about Joe that took my breath away.  He was older, cute and he wore black gloves while driving.  All things that are very important when you're in high school!  Even though he drove like we were on a race course, I was never scared.  Joe always made me feel safe. 

Last year when eliminating clutter from my life, I came across an ethereal rectangular glass jewelry box with a painting of an angel.   Over the years, the silver butterfly broke off and there was a small chip in te glass.  I remember looking at that box and thinking of the moment Joe gave it to me, and how my heart dropped.  Last night I envisioned that box and thought about the fun and crazy memories I shared with Joe.  Then I thought about how grateful I am.  In this amazing game of life, I was given a second and third chance.  The doctors didn't know if my heart failure would improve when I was initially diagnosed.  Then I was dealt another blow after my first daughter was born.  But I survived.   Joe, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky.  He died of thymic cancer at 34 years old.

If you need a wake up call, there it is right in front of you.  You never know what life has in store for you.  So stop living just to pass time.  I challenge you to try something you always wanted.  Be adventurous and leave work on time, start writing that children's book you've been talking about for years, call up a past love and say hi.  I've always wanted to drive a race car... Without getting a speeding ticket!  It's the perfect tribute to Joe.  Anyone know of a good race track or where I can find a pair of racing gloves?  Thanks for the memories Joe!!

Sharing our voices...

Maya Angelou once said, "Words mean more than what is set down on paper.  It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning."  Thanks for joining me on this journey towards discovering my voice as a survivor, mother, wife and friend.  I've always been fearful of my own voice; scared that I wouldn't sound smart or that I would come across as being self indulgent.  After all, who really cares about what I have to say?  But the more I spoke to my girlfriends, the more I realized the importance of sharing our stories.  We all have a story to share about an experience that has affected us or shaped our lives, and no one story is more important than another.  Often times, it's these stories that we hide from the world for fear of judgment.  Every single day I meet a woman who inspires me.  From a grieving mother who is terrified of loosing another child to a woman who struggled for years to get pregnant and just had twins, we need to support one another.  Email me your stories to voicestoshareblog@gmail.com and thanks for inspiring me!