What do you say - Part 2

Photo taken from Pure Nourishment on Facebok.

I was sitting at lunch today when my phone started vibrating...  My good friend in NYC texted that she needed my advice.  ASAP!  She remembered I wrote a blog entry about what to say when someone you know and love is diagnosed with a disease.  Problem is, this was a 15 month old child.  My heart dropped at the thought.  It hits so close to home, my younger daughter is 18 months old.  

I called her right away and we talked about it.  For starters, check out my post from June called "What Do You Say?".  Let's face it, there's nothing you can say to take away any of the pain, anger, frustration that mom is going through.  Her entire world has been shattered, and unfortunately I'm hearing more and more stories of children being diagnosed with potentially fatal illnesses.  Even though you may be an emotional wreck over the situation, don't put that on the mom.  She's heartbroken and worried about her child, don't be selfish and make her start worrying about you.  

I hear it all the time from other survivors and people who have been diagnosed with life threatening illnesses.  I felt like I had to remain strong for everyone around me, when all I really wanted was support.  I already wrote about the list of Dos and Don'ts.  As a refresher, just speak from your heart and keep it short.  I can't tell you the amount of times I heard, you're so strong and how could this happen to you, you look fine...  Augh please.  Do you think we choose to get sick?  How can we be anything but strong?

Here's what you do...  Make a phone call and be honest.  Let your friend know that you've been thinking of her and you really have no idea what to say except I love you.  Then tell her you made an extra lasagna that you'll drop off at her doorstep.  Give her the option, say I'm going to drop it off tomorrow.  If you want to talk I can come in otherwise I'll just leave it outside.  Please don't get sensitive if she doesn't call you back or want to talk.  Lastly, send all your thoughts and prayers to your friend and that beautiful child.  They truly make a difference.